Okay frank. We can talk off line but I wish to post this.
I guess for the last time.
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Is there a reason you need to pick my words apart?
Words mean everything. When we write we think things though. Are you thinking things through?
What is your path? Goals? Objectives?
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When did I say she 'owes me'?
Why do you think she is not strong enough to support you? Go back and read your stuff from two years ago. Go back and read your stuff now. A common thread is that she is not strong enough to support you when you are down.
That may be true.
But you go on and on - like she owes you. Like you gave up everything then and now it is her turn.
What happened two years ago - well if you did it to only save her and your M - then you were wrong.
You saved you. That is what I read. But all you talk about now is that you saved her and she cannot do it for you now.
I don't have to look far for an example: your last post ---
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She knows I love her. She says she loves me. Our kids are healthy. The foundation for a good life is all here, she only had to come to the table and HELP me build it. Inside I am still the same man, with the same potential when given the proper support to get out of my hole in the ground
"She only had to come to the table and HELP me build it."
Forgive me, but sounds like someone who thinks someone OWES him.
"When given the proper support".
Once again, I pick your words apart. Since when, from a man of your caliber, do you need "proper support"?
You need my support frank? You need support from Amy or FIB or others?
Or do you need to ONLY support you???
What I think does not matter.
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What do you want? Why are you focusing your anger at me? What is it about you that you are angry about because I can tell that your comments aren't about me. What's going on Jeff?
I don't want a damn thing from you frank.
This is another time you threw the 'anger' word at me. I am sick and tired of it.
Just where the hell did that come from??
I feel anger toward you? Why the hell should I?
I am only trying to help. But you don't see that.
Focusing on YOU means just that to you, focusing on only YOU, the center of the universe.
That is why fixing the 50% that is your control is so important. Why continuing DB and giving her the opportunity to fix her 50% is so important.
But you see 0/100, not 50/50.
Where is all this 'compassion' you threw in my face?
But your way is to either focus on you 100% or fix her 100%. No in between. That is so unfortunate.
If you wish to go on in life feeling that you know it all, that all is either balck or white .. go forward.
But if you want to get your head out of your a*ss, then I am your man.
Learn from where I have been:
1) Don't buy into this detachment crap. It does not work. You and I are IN LOVE. That is a fact no matter how you spin it.
2) Instead of detachment, love her. It took me TWO YEARS to figure that out frank - what unconditional love REALLY means.
3) Do what is best for you without her in your frame. Own you frame.
4) Stop this crap about the money and stuff - that is you trying to fix everything again. You cannot fix it. Stop trying. Sure, you can earn more money, but will money fix? I don't think so.
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I want a wife who appreciates me even when I'm down.
So, You want to control that which you cannot? She needs to appreciate you (or OWES you?)???
Good luck frank.
It took me two years to "get it". And I got it with your help. I wish I can return the favor.
Maybe I am angry after all. I am angry that a good man is letting himself go down the toilet, despite the recent talk I read here.
Amy - he is all yours. Hope he will listen to you.
