I think in these sitch's it's about the WAS usually going for someone who is needy. Someone who can make them feel important or basically better than they really feel.
Brit this is interesting (I use that word a lot...). Your W seems so dependant on you, do you think that your W is looking for someone to take care of or someone to look up to her?
I could really be off base here! J~
M 35 H 29 M 4 yrs T 9 yrs D 3 S born 10/19/07 Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08 Status - still figuring this out
I think in these sitch's it's about the WAS usually going for someone who is needy. Someone who can make them feel important or basically better than they really feel.
A WAS typically goes for someone who is an 'easy target' - Their self esteem is low, so it doesn't take much to find someone who makes them feel better about themselves. Of course, the big picture is that this situation my W has put herself in has pretty much ruined her financially and seems to drive her into a deeper depression every time she talks about it.
Originally Posted By: JennyF
Brit this is interesting (I use that word a lot...). Your W seems so dependant on you, do you think that your W is looking for someone to take care of or someone to look up to her?
If my W is dependent on me, this is the first time since we've been together - My W is fiercely independent, or at least, she likes to make out that she is. She has spent her whole life in relationships where she is taking care of someone, or being a 'mommy figure'. She says she hates it and it's unhealthy, but she keeps doing it over and over. A lot with her is that she has a major issue with trust, so if she has a relationship where she is in control (or she thinks she is), then it is a way for her to protect herself.
I think originally she liked the attention and the independence that came from not having to be 'wife' or 'mommy' all the time. She could go out, drink, party and all that crap.
What is it about the OM that so attracts your W? I remember you said he was very young and a total loser. There must be something about him that your W prefers over you. Or is it just that he is someone that is hard to get or she cant have and it makes her want him more.
The hard to get thing is a big part right now - He's off pursuing other girls, and W feels left out.
From my own experience with W, and from things she has told me in the past, she has a REALLY hard time letting go of people. If she 'feels love' for someone, or whatever, then she's cling to that feeling like an addiction. I seriously think that this guy could drive over her head, and she'd be okay with it.
Now, her diary is on the floor in the kitchen. It's tempting to go and read it just to see wtf is going through her head. I don't think I'm going to, but it's difficult to pretend it's not there
