Thanks for asking. I am very low. Not as low as when I was doing really stupid things a couple years ago. But probably about as low as I was pre-A.
When I read hairdog's letter, I remembered somebody saying that great writing wasn't necessarily great because it said something new, but because it eloquently said something that you already feel or know. I don't know where I would put myself in that spectrum of feeling, but I am not far from him. My W has reiterated to me several times over the past few months that she doubts she will ever have sexual attraction for me, except when her hormones were "high." Now that she is on the Mirena (hormone IUD), she doubts that will ever happen again. When we got in a conversation about showing love to each other, she mentioned that she "sometimes cooks things for me even though she knows she and the kids don't like it" and "puts away my clothes in the drawers after washing them." Hairdog's "platonic love" description nailed it. Yes, those things do make me feel loved, but not in a husband/wife sort of way, kwim?
Anyway, I could go on but right now I am fighting the "giving up" feeling by just doing the GAL thing for now. I have been rather physically sick the past month or so. That combined with a trip that went horribly bad due to weather has kept me occupied and out of the SSM loop. I'm just now getting caught up with business emails, much less personal ones. My brother wants to have a family get together soon and I haven't even responded in 3 weeks.
I guess in a word ... blech. But hey, other than being sick and feeling hopeless about my M, things are great. I mean that, everything else is going swimmingly. Work is great, kids are fantastic, got several new things going on, student's love me. Go figure.
/hijack{over}
Chrome
p.s. Redhead ... most of us are past being irritated at Cemar and are just fervently waiting for a wake-up call from God or something. He really is a smart and caring guy, he's just been stuck in a bad loop for a LONG while. Although I disagree with him on many things, I do empathize sometimes. I did my share of angry responses to him in the past. Now I wonder if developing patience with CeMar is some life test we all have to pass to be elite SSM members. LOL Just having a little fun at your expense CeMar, no insult intended.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
