Mopsey, May I offer up a suggestion? Please take some time and read all of SteelersFan's postings. Her husband's behavior has been somewhat like your h's. I think you would find her postings of great interest to you.
Keep your expectations at zero at all times.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
