I remember when I came into my time of acceptance. It was a very painful thing... having all my lovely illusions shattered.
My xH didn't act any differently when I reached that point (even though I wrote him a letter, and cried and slept on the couch for three nights in a row. He knew.)
He just went about doing his thing. I came to realize that if I did nothing but accept him, things would pretty much go on as before, except, I just wouldn't be invested in any outcomes.
So the next thing I had to do... was accept myself and what I wanted... and own it. That took about six months. After my car accident... there was just no going back for me. I filed for D, and it stunned the ever living he!! out of him. It stunned him, I think, because he never got around to accepting me for Who I Am.
At some point, the madness has to stop. Accept one another and create something new, or move on. Moving on is no more easy than creating something new. But if the person won't work with you, accept you... I see it as getting backed into a corner. Some people can remain and live with it. I personally could not. My shrink was right. He could not give me that answer. No one could. And once I made my decision... I didn't ask anyone what they thought. I did what I needed to do.
