What do you mean by "friendship rubber meets the road"? Do you mean that it is challenging to remain friends with someone after you've been or tried to be lovers? If so, I agree with this, and in fact, this is the first time I've ever continued a friend R with someone with whom I've been in a Relationship.
Yes, that is what I meant.
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But what do you mean "where the rubber meets the road"? I don't get where you're going with that. Do you mean our friendship will be tested?
You were talking about a gloomy feeling surrounding your euphoria, which others, and yourself, have already said could be part of the mourning process of the R. Sometimes... when you remain friends... it is easy to start accepting his crap behavior again (like how he talks to you, for example)... simply because they have been in your life so long... that's really all I meant.
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What do you mean by "don't be so nonchalant"? (which means "indifferent or unconcerned") Do I seem unconcerned about whether or not he will want to get back together as bf/gf?
No, about your own potential willingness to get back with him... even if you don't categorize it in your head as bf/gf, but you both just slip back into old routines... it can happen... especially when you leave open the 'friendship' door... so that is why I was encouraging you on the boundaries and keeping in your head what you do want. I understand you know this well... I was just kind of trying to lend positive support to what you already know... and you seemed down...
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He's different because we share these dogs, because he LIVES NEXT DOOR, and because I want to stay in his daughters' lives. And because we have many interests in common as long as we stay away from love and sex. So I guess I generally am a wolf, but this time I'm a puppy? My quality of life would not improve if I broke off all contact with him. But my quality of life has improved tremendously since I have broken off romantic contact.
I get all that... nod... Yeah... I'm concerned for you, simply because I know how long you've worked on this and how hard it has been for you... am I concerned? Yes... But not because I think you are 'missing' something in your reasoning or actions... I'm concerned because you are a fellow poster and I see great things for you... and the amount of emotional 'ties' you list with xbf makes me pause to consider how I'd handle the same. Not that you would handle it like me (I would never insult you so )... I can just fathom how that might get really tricky or difficult at times... so... that's all.
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Frankly, I do NOT see that happening. The sex thing alone is a major obstacle. It would be a complete break from who he is to approach me and ask for such a thing. I can't think of one time when he spontaneously extended himself to me (pun intended).
I just mean... never say never. I know you don't see it happening... I don't either, based on your posts... but I would never so completely discount it from your reasoning that IF it DID happen... you would be ready.
People do very strange things. It wouldn't surprise one iota if he, in fact, did exactly this. Especially when you start dating someone else. Couple that with all the emotional ties... I'm just saying, don't discount is completely.
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And, no, my sitch doesn't give me ONE CLUE about why you're bouncing all over the place, but if you see a connection, I'd love to know what it is. It sounds very interesting, but I cannot make the leap from dot to dot without you filling in the blanks for me.
Cuz. One day you are fine... next day kinda glum... next day chipper... I have been going through it a lot longer than you, so I'm only talking about the up and down effect... not the length of time... to me it sounded like you were a bit surprised to be feeling a bit glum... which I get. I'm kind perplexed by my bouncing, so I was focusing on the feeling of being a bit surprised at myself and my bouncing.
I really do appreciate very much when people say to me... "Corri, you're bouncing again." It helps me catch myself before I spin, you know? You refer to posts, and I can go back and see it myself. Actually, that is why I keep posting here. We've been hanging out together long enough that you CAN say...'you're bouncing.'
You have worked so hard on this aspect of your life, and it has been a gauntlet for you... I understand your reasonings to keep ties... it just scares me a little for you, that's all. I know you are a big girl, and you can handle/manage your life just fine all on your own. I know in many aspects your xbf is a wonderful person... it's just that... if I ever met him, I think I might want to punch him in the nose and say..."you hurt my friend Lil. Jerk. Don't ever do it again... and don't you DARE ever offer her sex.'
)... I can just fathom how that might get really tricky or difficult at times... so... that's all.