Helloooo...Smoother Ride....Where Are You???

[SueS]

Hello-

This is the last post of my previous thread. I do intend on responding to everyone's questions/comments, as soon as I get a chance.

Hi everyone-

Thanks so much for all the support. The first thing that came to my mind when H tried to initiate sex last night was all the awful things he said less than 24 hours before. Then, when he got angry with me for denying him, it even pushed things further into the front of my mind. Obviously it was not something he wanted to do out of love or to bring us closer. If it were, he would have told me that he understood or been more considerate.

I don't have much time to respond to everyone right now, but I wanted to say that H has called twice today. He called this morning to apologize for his words and actions on Saturday night. He said, Sue, I shouldn't have yelled at you and said those things and I didn't mean it. Then he called just a few minutes ago to tell me that he took dinner out for me.

Not sure what's going through his mind. Maybe he realizes that I'm ready to walk, ready to let go and he doesn't want to lose the cozy set up he has. That would be my first thought. When we talked this morning, I did thank him for the apology, but told him that I had been thinking about talking to him about all of that tonight and about other things that need to be talked about. He said okay. So, we'll see if the talk happens.

I'll let you all know.

So, it was a quiet night. H called on his way home to say he was running behind. We got snow yesterday and the roads were slick. We ate dinner together and he hinted around about wanting me to go to a movie on Sat. The rest of the night, he read information on some work related community service he has to do while I got D3 to bed. I was wiped and so was he. I fell asleep watching tv and woke up to find him in bed asleep too. Just a quiet night.

I talked to him this morning for a minute. He's been nice the past few days. Not sure what's going through his mind.

I did talk to OW's H yesterday. He said that both he and OW were scheduled to talk to a Marriage Builders counselor on Friday. Last Tuesday, OW cancelled her portion of the session. She told her H that she didn't want to be told what to do and she didn't feel comfortable talking to a C. However, she commented that she does want to start talking to her H. That hasn't happened yet, but he said that she got up with him and cooked him breakfast. He said that it's been odd and uncomfortable, but he's still trying. He encouraged me to be positive and try to stick with it. I understand what he's saying, but tend to lean toward the fact that if my M ends, it will not help his and that's what he's looking at.

Here's a link to my last thread. Have a good day.
Get Me on a Smoother Ride.....Need Advice #11

[Rob1231]

He encouraged me to be positive and try to stick with it. I understand what he's saying, but tend to lean toward the fact that if my M ends, it will not help his and that's what he's looking at.

Hey Sue, It's not a competition to see who can be the best Divorce Buster. His advice is good - try to take it as well-intended and think of him as an ally.

So, you're back home and hopefully things will settle down a bit. BACK TO YOUR HOMEWORK! What GAL goals do you have for yourself for the next week?

[SueS]

Hey Sue, It's not a competition to see who can be the best Divorce Buster. His advice is good - try to take it as well-intended and think of him as an ally.

So, you're back home and hopefully things will settle down a bit. BACK TO YOUR HOMEWORK! What GAL goals do you have for yourself for the next week?

Rob- Maybe what I said didn't come out right. I did take his advice as well-intended. I actually called him yesterday. Neither of us plans on calling each other with every tiny detail or asking the questions of.....H was here last night, where was OW? He'd had the session with C on Friday and I'd told him that I'd be thinking about him and hoped that OW would participate. NO intentions of being "friends", but yes, an ally.

I'll work on that list!

H emailed back and forth all morning about the movie he wants to see this weekend. I offered up some suggestions for times and baby sitting. I made the plans, we'll see if he sticks to them.

SueS

[Rob1231]

H emailed back and forth all morning about the movie he wants to see this weekend. I offered up some suggestions for times and baby sitting. I made the plans, we'll see if he sticks to them.

So, what movie are you considering? I just saw (and loved) Cloverfield, but it may not be the best 'date movie'!

[SueS]

Rob-

It's an IMAX 3-D movie of U2. I actually think it's called U23D. I guess it's the first ever live action 3D concert film. H is a big music fan. He loves U2. It would bring back some memories though, as we attended a lot of their concerts together. I'm trying to just see it as a night out and a movie. No hopes up, no expectations, just a few hours out.

SueS

[Yoyowife]

I'm glad to hear that you have a "date" Sat. night!

[Rob1231]

Saw a poster for that when I was at the theater - looks cool. Be sure and tell us if it's any good!

[SueS]

Yoyo-

We'll see if he follows through and goes. When we emailed back and forth today I gave him some options to go either Sat. or Sunday. He said he preferred Sat. night, so I set everything up for Sat. night so he shouldn't have any excuses. Like I said, I'm looking at it just as a night out. Not a date or anything special. A while back when we had a "talk", I asked him if he'd just consider spending some time together. Nothing big, nothing romatic, just time.

I can't let myself get drawn back in just by some nice talk and a decent attitude after what's happened the past 3-4 weeks. It's very hard for me NOT to forgive someone for things they've done. But, if I get myself drawn back into this and get my hopes up, I'll get hurt even more. I don't want to shut things down, but I guess more of a friendly, but detached kind of thing.

SueS

[SueS]

As I said, we'll see if H goes. He just called and said that he's probably going to pass on going.

[Yoyowife]

Oh Sue, I'm so sorry. I know it almost feels like you got the wind knocked out of you. I just don't understand how they can from hot to cold in such a short amount of time. The only thing we can count on is not counting on them...

Hugs