I don't think mistakes ever go away - at least I hope not. I hope that every mistake I make teaches me something, otherwise, what a waste. I hope that my H's mistakes teach him something about love, trust, faith, honesty, family, self respect, communication. Of course lessons like these are brutal, and if want them to go away, you can push them out of your mind, but I'm pretty sure that if you don't learn from your mistakes, they will come back and bite you in the a$$ over and over again. Maybe that's why so many 2nd, 3rd, 4th marriages don't work out either - they never learned what went wrong in the first one.
Quote:
do you really ever "get rid" of someone who has a key part of your life
I would say no, even if they are not there anymore physically, they leave a shadow, like after you've looked at a bright light, that affects us for the rest of our lives. Your story about your college roommate makes me even more determined to make sure my D feels safe through this process, even if my H never comes back. Maybe your roommate's parents were so wrapped up in thier sitch to take the time to talk to him about what was going on. I'm not afraid (or ashamed) to talk to my D about some of my feelings, and I think that makes her feel like she is not so alone, not so afraid of what will happen to her. Of course, I am very careful about what I say, but she needs to know that I hurt sometimes too, but together we can help each other feel better, and that's how it's supposed to work w/ people who love each other. And that she can trust me no matter what, since you have to be able to trust someone to survive in this world.
FA
What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.
FA:43, H:42 D:7 M:10 yrs, T:24 yrs EA:?, PA:1/06 S:3/07 EA/PA ongoing Aborted attempt to move home 07/08
