The Great Wall Part II

[Dom R]

Dom, Did you not read Karen's previous post all the way through? Her H has already clearly stated that the children come first. What would be the point of her H taking another job for less money if he just fills that time with the kids over Karen?

In my opinion, that would still be an improvement!

However, that is the anti-"act-as-if" attitude. That is sabotaging a potential solution path, with "well, what if the other person just does.... it's not worth it".

Whereas DB/DR recommends that you should "act as if" they will be willing to take the more positive path, when considering possible solutions or actions to take.

The way I see it, is:

Worst case: Karen's H spends more time at home with the kids.
That's still time at home, vs at the office!!

Better case, would be that he spends half his new "free" time with the kids, and half with Karen.

And either way, he's going to be a whole lot less stressed.
Maybe just as tired... but less stressed
It's primarily stress, not tiredness, that is the SD killer.

So I see such a job change for Karen's case, as just varying degrees of success. Either a little improvement, or a HUGE improvement. But either way, it's going to be better than what their relationship is now.

I think it is pretty common knowledge that you cannot force someone to break an addiction

Karen's husband is not "addicted to work". i think he just has wellmeaning but misguided priorities.