Or even get a video camera out and hide it somewhere and film him. Someone else on here mentioned that being done once and when it was played back to the aggressive S later on they could not believe how they had behaved.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Choc's suggestion is very good. It keeps your dignity.
I think humor/sacrasm might be fun, too.
"Hun, you know, when you call me names like that...it gets me all hot for you, so please stop, because if you keep this up I'm gonna have peel you like a banana on these bleachers and take you right now." Say it with a wicked grin on your face. Then change the subject.
He'll either think your crazy or will find your backbone and playfyulness unsettling. Either way, I pretty much guarantee it will throw him off balance. It's emotional jiu-jitsu. ;-)
Oh...when you print out posts. Don't leave them in a place he can find them. Be very careful. He may act like he doesn't care what you do, but I bet you he might snoop. He's a lawyer, he's acting in a cruel fashion, he has a mind to leave you and he certainly wants to keep tabs on you. Anything that will give him an edge in the divorce proceedings he'll use. Be careful about any email correspondence. So....be as innocent as a dove, but as wise as a serpent.
I like the humor idea, theoden, I will try that next time, that is in line with my personality, and will see what H does when I do that. I will report back with the results!!!
You're scaring me choceyes! I do have all DB evidence well hidden though in my room (which he no longer goes into)! What's funny/sad though is he doesn't worry about me enough to tape me or look for anything I don't believe. He went to a divorce attorney I about 2 months ago and told me I didn't need to though!, so he would never think I would go against him and his wishes. I actually do have an appt. though in 2 days though to meet with an atty. who hopefully will help me out if she turns out to be good (which I've heard she is). H expects I will fall in line with him and do what he wants with the divorce just as I have in the marriage. But really if he files for divorce, I plan to go along with what my divorce attorney thinks is best for the kids and I rather than his advice actually, so he may be in for a major shock!
I think he thinks I am weaker than I am because I love him, but I don't have a problem with that and protecting my interests and the kids as well. I know he has just his interests and the OW's on his mind at this point so someone has to look out for the kids and I, and I know it won't be him. Karen43
I know it's a disturbing thought, but there's a reason they put that little "v" between the parties of a divorce proceeding -- you're adversaries at that point. I was merely offering the advice along the line of oden's "don't leave the posts lying around," because you need all of your OWN resources that you can muster, without your husband tainting the process.
I hated that I had to do some of the snooping I did, but I was also the guy on the SSM message board that SWORE "oh, my wife would NEVER have an affair!"
Good news about my brother! His surgery went well. My sil said they removed the tumor. It looked good (I guess for a tumor!) and the surgeon thought it looked benign from what he could tell although I guess we have to wait for the biopsy Fri. to be 100% sure but my sil says he has done 1000 of these surgeries so she feels his opinion is pretty good! I feel like finally some good news b/c I had the "no longer in love with you" speech from H and the news from my brother in December and haven't been happy since and it is so hard to DB when you are so depressed! I have lost half of my sadness in one day today!!! Karen43
