Having your image of your spouse dashed to pieces is a hard pill to swallow.
Realizing that they are human, frailties included, somehow seems to let us down, disappointed in the real person that we find behind the facade. Only problem is that the facade was a combination of what we WANTED to believe, and the spouse's projection of themselves.
I think in every R, you eventually come to the point where you see the person behind the facade. When people fall in love, they inevitably put a lot of expectations and fantasies on the beloved. This is normal and natural IMHO.
The mask has to go if you are to be truly intimate. Sometimes the person you find behind the mask is a caring, kind individual who loves you and whom you can still love, often even more than when you had them up on a pedestal. You love them in their humanness and vulnerability.
