You and I are pretty much in the same place, mentally and emotionally. The only difference being that I've communicated it to my wife already.
It is, as you've described, both simultaneously liberating -- and sad. It is, however, honest, and probably some of the truest feelings I've felt about my wife in a long, long time, maybe ever.
As someone very wise just told me:
Having your image of your spouse dashed to pieces is a hard pill to swallow.
Realizing that they are human, frailties included, somehow seems to let us down, disappointed in the real person that we find behind the facade. Only problem is that the facade was a combination of what we WANTED to believe, and the spouse's projection of themselves.
