How Many Days to Go?

[cat03]

Red))))))))))) longtime no see! glad that you guys had a good time, I can't imagen how hard it must've been to see him go again, but I hope time goes by quickly hon)))))

It will take a while for a few of us here to let our guard down, it's like getting burn, we are in a cat-like state of alertness. It will get better, glad to see you doing well toots

[Punktmann]

You're back.

[RedHeadWife]

Still having a really rough time. S3 is having such a hard time. I think it's b/c H went back, but he's at that age where it's hard to actually "talk" to him about things like that. He cries in the a.m. when I take him to day care and says he wants to go home and then cries when I pick him up and says he doesn't want to go home. Then, of course, S2 has to chime in for attention.

Haven't heard from H in a few days. He was literally thrown back into work as soon as he got back and has really hard hours. Hopefully we'll be able to talk more this weekend. I'm going to need to act "as if" everything is just wonderful b/c he doesn't need the stress of how I'm feeling right now. It was so much easier when he left the first time!

[saffie]

You can do this Red. How's the other stuff going? email me.

[cat03]

for S3, plan an outing when you pick him up, indoor playground,bake cookies,etc, so when he starts crying you ask him "are you ready to xyz?" it worked for my son when he was that age.

[RedHeadWife]

Morning, everybody

Well, my mom & dad finally made it back home. They'd been gone for almost 2 wks; actually left before H went back to Korea.

I think this is going to help S3 a lot. He actually did really well this a.m. until we left the house. When we got to day care, I could tell he was kind of "acting" like he was all upset for attention. You know how you just know your kids and I could tell by the look on his face. I think he's going to be ok. Mom and I actually had a chance to talk to him a little bit about dad being gone last night too. I think he made a comment about him having gone back to Korea and that was an opening for us to talk to him about it and reassure him that he's coming back.

I'm still pretty much in the dumps. I honestly don't know what's up w/ me. I'm usually not like this and, even if I have "one of those days," it certainly doesn't last as long as this has.

Not much to report on the M -- haven't really had the chance to talk to H much since he's been back over there.

[RedHeadWife]

Ok, guys & gals, let's play a game here. Let's pretend Red is a clueless newbie 'cuz that's how I feel right now.

I still can't get out of this funk I've been in since H left again (went back to Korea until May) and I need some ideas or even some 2 x 4's

I have gotten out of the house -- I went out w/ some friends this past weekend to dinner & a movie. This Friday, I'm going out again b/c one of my friends is moving away. I even went & had a root canal yesterday!

I feel, though, that this depression or whatever it is is now affecting my R w/ H. We haven't seemed to have had the chance to talk as much on the phone since he's gone back, but even when we do, I feel really disconnected from him. I certainly don't want to backslide on my M/R when we are/were doing so well.

I know the time is going to go by fast. It just doesn't seem like it is yet. We have 100 days to go, well 99 today I think.

I have work (yeah ) and lots of extracurricular activities w/ my oldest S8 -- Scouts & basketball right now. We pretty much have something going every night of the week and this weekend we have basketball pics, a game & the ultimate Pinewood Derby races That's very stressful too though having to do all of that plus keep track of S's 2 & 3 at the same time, but luckily mom & dad came back (they went out of town for a couple of weeks) and they help out a lot. In fact dad is going to be my "taxi" Friday night

Anyway, I just need SOMETHING to jump start me out of this blah that I'm in. I guess part of me knows I need to just "fake it 'til I make it," but I haven't even been able to get myself to do that.

Any ideas? Thanks all!

[Aud31]

I'll throw in a few things that help me get my mind on other things and feel like I'm doing something just for me:

-snuggle up with a fun, light, novel (I also like to listen to audio books on my MP3 while I do chores...that's about all I have time for anymore!)
-relaxing bubble bath
-schedule a massage, pedicure or facial
-do something nice for a neighbor or friend...drop a treat off or just stop for a visit
-go to bed early!

((hugs))

[peaceful_spirit]

Red,
When H was gone the last time, how were things? Did you feel disconnected then? If not, can you identify the things you were doing that kept you feeling connected? Try to tihnk of the times and phone conversations that were good and figure out what made them good. And what is different now.

If you can identify something on your end to change the dynamic of your conversations, maybe that will turn them more positive.

In the meantime, you are a busy girl... so you dont' seem to need help in that arena. Aud had excellent suggestions... ALL things I did when H and I were separated and things I still do when I need "me" time.

I find that having a massage, although expensive, is often just waht the doctor ordered. I just veg for an hour and gather myself. Maybe you can treat yourself to one.

And one last thought... winter is kind of depressing as it is. I find myself falling into a funk for no obvious reason. So, some of what you're feeling may be a lack of sunshine and nice weather.

Chin up. This too shall pass.

[cat03]

a girls night out wouldnt' hurt either

Not many ideas, you seem to have lots to do already, perhaps some more me time, hugs, take care hon))))