well, all hell broke loose, it is over and done

[LoginName]

Cat, I know it hurts. You'll be surprised how fast it feels better. The pain changes from and unhealthy wound oozing puss and desease to a clean cut that still hurts but feels OK, like you're going to be strong again.

How do you detach. It's really tricky. You don't have to ask for divorce, or tell him he can have a D if he wants. You don't have to stop loving him. Of course you care about him. Just remember that you can't control him, you can't help him and he can't help you. Maybe that's the key.

Say little, don't talk about R. Almost ignore him. Don't talk about OW. Don't give him advice. Listen to him if you want, but you sure don't have to. If he decides he doesn't want to be married, oh well.

Don't worry about phones, emails, where he goes, who he goes with. It's out of your control. Leave it in God's hands if it helps. Don't ask, don't worry. Spend the time you were worrying doing things for you and the kids.

((((cat))))
The man you knew is gone for now. How would you detach if her were dead? You'd remember the good. You'd have pain but deal with it. You'd take care of your pain, deal with it, process it, and heal. Same thing now.

If the man you knew comes back (and he might) you might not care. That's a risk he is taking. But it doesnt concern you now. You could care less right now about IF he comes back. Move on.