Mike, I forget, did either of you file papers? If she says you have to divorce but no one has filed yet, who does it? What is she waiting for?
In my situation, I was at the point where I had begun the filing process. Papers were filled out and my W recommitted to me days before I was going to go sign them.
Keep Retrouvaille as a possible option. Even if she is dead set against staying married (or so she thinks), spin the weekend as a way to improve your communication. You have children together and you need to maintain a good relationship for their sake. Keep working on improving yourself, and just maybe she'll soften her stance a little bit and get the point where she considers it.
