well, all hell broke loose, it is over and done

[cat03]

ok ok, so, i detach by... stop telling him we can work it out and stop talking down when he breaks down.

By not reminding him over and over what ow's has done (I remember now how he cried that day before xmas about how awful/terrible she was and this am tells me she's changed)

By letting him seek help on his own, he has his new T who only knows the partial story and has told H "looks like you dont' want to be married", and decide if that is true.

He planned last week to go out for pool w/coworkers, I asked him this am not to go, he says he needs to take a break from all the thinking of this mess and wants to go. Fine.

All my boundaries were broken, I wont make any new until he faces his actions and puts new ones himself (he did say he would change his email, get rid of phone, etc,but..he's said this before.)

Damn it, I am worth more than this, he has shown very little care for me these past 48hrs, I will stop asking him to see who cares more for him, me or ow, his mind is swiss cheese and only sees ow, well, then let that be.

He has asked me what should he do, what do i want him to do but when I tell him he doesn't, he wants to break it off completly but finding it very hard to do so. I have asked him to get her on the phone while i'm listening and tell her there is no D and no S from me. That will be the only thing I'm going to ask from him, he will have to find the strenght to fight for us.

Why was I so blind? well, my little 4yr old and my 9yr old, but you all are right, i'm an enabler and not letting H man up. Thank you all for lifting my head off the fog, I've been closing my eyes tight wishing this away, and it wont happen like this, this is H's fight.