Will I be here?

[SirPrizeMe]

He's in a bad place. At least he is aware that he's behaving like a sh!t. Look, he had an affair, too. Don't you think that had something to do with you? don't you think part of him was just trying to deliberately hurt you? part of him?

It doesn't feel different to me. Maybe I am missing the significance?

I don't know this for sure, but I think that for some people, deliberately hurting the spouse, is their way of exercising their power in the relationship. They feel powerless to do other stuff, but they are able to precipitate conflict or cause pain, so that's what they do. not saying this is your R, but anyway something to think about.