well, all hell broke loose, it is over and done

[LoginName]

Cat, I just read everyone elses posts.We seem to all agree. Time for the 2x4s over the head. Detach. Let go. We've been telling you this for a while, now it's become critical. Detach.

Kids. If you have to, explain to the kids that mom and dad are having grown up problems, it has nothing to do with them, they didn't cause it, and they are loved and will always be loved. Dad is sick in a way. It may take him a long time to get better. He is still Dad, still loves them, and is still a good person, just sick and needs to get better. How's that sound.

Whenever I brought up the kids to our MC, he would ignore the question, keeping me,and us focused on us. I bought books on divorce and kids and used them for guidance. Basically, I made myself available for their questions, but didn't share or burden them. I watched for signs of problems, like grades,acting out, that kind of thing, and asked their teachers to watch too. Be an example. Take care of yourself and them. Don't bad mouth dad to them. Don't treat them like friends and tell them your pain, worries etc. But you probably already know all this.

Detach, let go, listen to your friends here.