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In the meanwhile, you better find something to do other than think about the WA. And make it something you can live with permanently, otherwise you are just wasting your time.

Thanks jmw128. So far that "something" has been taking care of our kids and my job. No time or energy for much else other than occasionally meeting good family friends with or without the kids present. The kids are too young to leave alone. So I cannot do activities on a regular weekly basis (e.g., taking a class) because I have the kids every other week for the entire week; I have done some of this using a sitter but it gets very expensive and hard to arrange on a regular basis. No family anywhere close by. But fortunately my job is somewhat flexible so I can work from home when the kids are ill. But I do spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about the WAW and how I can improve myself whether she changes or not. Lately I seem to have made some progress communicating with her.