(Corri) Well... you could scream at the top of your lungs and run away... that seems to work for monkeys in the wild...
You could throw poo.
Monkeys in the wild do not scream and run away from bananas they want. They don't throw poo at 'em, either. That would be extremely unmonkeylike behavior.
Sheesh!
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
Hmm... guess I was saying all that stuff in the context of 'avoid/conquer.' So, if the banana can be viewed as a threat/danger, or an object of annoyance... or an object of clear disdain (what, only ONE banana?... or... that banana is surely over ripened...)
Without changing the monkey or the wolf, the only I can think of that could change... is perspective.
Without changing the monkey or the wolf, the only I can think of that could change... is perspective.
Either the monkey would have to accept the fact that the wolf will be dominant like that, or the monkey would need to find a non-wolf. Is the monkey in the male zoo too? Wouldn't two monkeys just have fun? Or would that not work?
The very act of me not getting very invested is quite likely to trigger her, or at least allow her, to become more invested.
Could you explain why you believe this to be true?
It jibes with things I've read and with my own observations. The short version is that when one person in the R takes responsibility for "putting on the brakes" and keeping the R level manageable, it frees the other person and they become more and more comfortable being "relationshippy" because they learn they can trust the OP to not let the R develop. I've been on both sides of that equation.
Myself, being the sexually-bonded type, I am extremely skeptical about the ability to *maintain* wolf-exclusive relationships ... or the desirability of developing that ability.
Right. "Maintaining" is not a feature of a wolf-exclusive R.
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
Too many animal references for me but I wanted to say this works on several levels.
keeping the R level manageable, it frees the other person and they become more and more comfortable being "relationshippy" because they learn they can trust the OP to not let the R develop.
It works when one wants to keep the R alive, the OS can just kick back and let the one that wants to keep the R alive do most of the work. The trust has to be there.
It's when the trust is gone the less interested person does some or all of the work.
Here, this might help with the whole wolf thing. Mo, I think you'd do well to decide if you are interacting with a wolf, or a wolverine.
The Wolf
When a lone wolf is spotted in the wilderness it embodies the energy of freedom. When seen in a pack it embodies a sense of community. If wolf appears to you alone or in a pack it is asking you to acquire the same within your own life. In spite of their negative press wolves are actually friendly, social and highly intelligent.
The wolf's senses are highly developed. Their intelligence is marked with excellent hearing, sense of smell and strong feeling. They are determined as well as cunning and use these skills for the benefit of the pack. The howl of the wolf is primal and penetrating. They howl to find other pack members or to let wolves from outside of the pack know their territory boundaries. If you hear a wolf howl it might be telling you to stand your ground and defend your boundaries.
Wolf teaches you to have a balance between the needs your family has of you and the needs you have for yourself. They are totally loyal to the pack but do not give up their identity to the pack. If wolf appears in your life you are being asked to look at where you are being too dependent and where you may be too independent. In both family and community there needs to be a balance.
Wolves convey much with their bodies. If they are angry, they may stick their ears straight up and bare their teeth. A wolf who is suspicious pulls its ears back and squints. Fear is often shown by flattening the ears against the head. A wolf who wants to play dances and bows playfully. Their body language is symbolic for those with this medicine. Man also uses body language to convey messages. The study of this art can increase perception in those with this totem.
Wolves hunt in packs, relying on endurance to run down weak and older animals. They have been known to run 35 miles a day in pursuit. They are the epitome of stamina and strength. With an extremely well developed societal organization, they act together to hunt and raise their young. They do not fight unnecessarily and often go out of their way to avoid fighting. Sometimes a growl, a glance, a posture is all that is necessary to determine dominance. Wolf teaches those with this medicine to know who you are and to develop strength and confidence in what you do.
The Wolverine
The wolverine is known for its great ferocity and extraordinary strength. Indian mythology describes the wolverine as a trickster hero, a link between the material world and the spirit world. In ancient mythology the energy of a trickster is linked to the underworld where the secrets of creation live.
Baby wolverines are born blind and weigh less than one pound. This prompts all their other sensory organs to awaken quickly, their sense of smell, feeling and inner sight are heightened at an early age. Small yet insightful, the new born wolverine acknowledges and responds to all its intuitive senses from the moment of birth. They respond to life and the challenges it holds with clarity, focus and persistence giving them a deeper understanding of personal power. Those with this medicine should ask themselves if their personal power is serving them appropriately. Learning how to utilize personal power in a balanced way is one of the teachings the wolverine holds.
The wolverines crafty cunning nature coupled with their perseverance and focus keeps them aligned with the energies of creation. This alignment serves them in many ways. They know when to act, when to retreat, how to respond to any situation and how to become invisible. All of these abilities inherent in the wolverine are also inherent in those who hold this medicine. Wolverines are masters at shape shifting their reality to benefit them in some way and can teach us how to do the same. Shamanic studies is helpful for those who have this totem.
Wolverines are excellent scavengers although not the best hunters. They are very resourceful and know how to make do with whatever is available. They turn trash into treasure and teach us how to do the same. Alaskan natives consider the wolverine to by a symbol of the wilderness, a survivor of the elements. Its fur is commonly used for parka trim and hoods because of its durability. The guard hairs of the wolverine fur resist frost accumulation helping people survive in extreme cold weather.
Solitary creatures with tremendous physical endurance the wolverine can travel up to 40 miles a day in search of food. Because of their great strength and endurance wolverines have become the center of folklore, although its fierce reputation has been exaggerated. They rarely attack any predator larger than itself and only attack when food is needed. They show us how to go the distance and acquire that which we seek.
When this medicine is fully developed in humans the capability to survive in any situation is common. If underdeveloped challenges regarding survival are common. Because the wolverine is a shape shifter the art of survival doesn't just represent the physical realm. It also indicates the challenges associated with mental clarity, emotional balance and spiritual understanding.
The wolverine is a master teacher and embodies a variety of skills. When it appears in your life it is asking you to take a serious look at your self and your life, change anything that does not serve and utilize your personal power for the good of self and others.
