Cemar, I honestly don't think it's all about how it's going to "be" for the LD person -- bottom line is that they just honestly could care less either way. It also could be some deep-lying issue about S. I think for me, my problems stemmed from the fact that my parents always made S out to be "dirty" or something that was "embarrassing" as I grew up and that clearly affected my SL in a big way.
Also, I think most LD people probably haven't "gotten" the whole "rejection" issue -- they just figure "I don't want to have S, big deal." They don't realize what they are doing emotionally to their partner. Yes, their partner may have tried to tell them, but they haven't "gotten" it yet.
I have made huge strides in this area and I am now at the point where I do have S just to please my H. There was a few days/2 wks or so when he was home that things just weren't "working" for me, yet I didn't just go back into my cave. I was still hopeful that things would even out and they did. I don't know why I was "back" to where I was -- whether it was just stress, subconsciously thinking about him having to go back or what, but I just couldn't get into it mentally and therefore things just weren't going right physically either, but I still pleased H, not out of obligation, but I have a firm commitment to my M again and that includes making sure that our SL doesn't ever go to the wayside again either.
Last edited by RedHeadWife; 01/22/0811:50 AM.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
