I am very impressed with how you are handling this. I wish I had some words of wisdom, but I have not been doing this long enough to offer anything with substance. Hang in there. Don't forget to take care of you, number one. Everything else will fall into place as it should.
If you haven't called a DB coach, you might try that to help guide you a little bit. They are truly wonderful at what they do.
Best of luck ad I will keep watching your thread!
J
H-43 W-41 S-15,S-12,S-11 Together 22 years Married 15 years Affair Discovered - March 06 D Day Announcement - Dec 23,07 Move out Day - Feb 15,2008 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1350958&page=0&fpart=1
Thanks for the positive words, guys. I left H alone after he went back to work at noon. Got a text at 4:15 as I was driving the kids to my mom's in Iowa H: No apt or furniture; going to talk to [boss' boss] tomorrow see what is really going on
WTF? So I don't know what that means for us. He didn't specifically say, "I am not moving out". He just said no furniture no apartment. Initially in Nov. he mentioned moving in with a bachelor buddy from work, but he never actually picked out a specific guy, just said it would be cheaper to live w/someone else. So that could be the plan. Or tomorrow after talking with the Big Boss, if he finds out his job is safe, he may resume the move-out plans. It kind of sucks either way bc now if he stays, it would be for $$ reasons, not R reasons. So I'd always be waiting for the other shoe to drop. When $$ isn't a problem, will he take off? I am going to continue to act "as if" we are separated--even though he never actually moved out --unless and until he says he is staying here bc he wants us to work on things together. That means I will continue not to call him first or reach out to him first. I did reply to his TM, but I waited an hour. Then I just wished him luck on the meeting w/the boss and told him I hope he keeps his job. I did NOT mention the furniture, the apt., or our R. OH, and I got a message on my original thread "Please Help Me Re. My Confused Husband" on the For Newcomers Board. A couple people were getting confused bc I have been posting in two places and they have to jump around to get my story. I started there, but added stuff here once I knew H wanted to separate. So from now on I am only going to post on that board. So look for me under "Confused Husband". I will continue to "lurk" on this board as I am wrapped up in some of your stories and will continue to post replies to you! Thanks for all the help guys....
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
No, we haven't told our son anything. H still lives at home with us. But a lot has happened. To keep from repeating myself, I have started doing my postings back on the "For Newcomers" thread, since I started out there and jumped here when H was going to move out.
I don't know how you include a link to your page. But I am listed under "For Newcomers". My heading is "Please Help Me With My Confused Husband."
If you can't find it, PLEASE REPLY HERE! And I will try to figure out how to post the link. I THINK my situation is looking up, but as you know from here you never can tell....
--unless and until he says he is staying here bc he wants us to work on things together. That means I will continue not to call him first or reach out to him first. I did reply to his TM, but I waited an hour. Then I just wished him luck on the meeting w/the boss and told him I hope he keeps his job. I did NOT mention the furniture, the apt., or our R. 
