I mean if the person he was for 40 years is dead and buried as you say NoCode, should I be working on trying to reconcile with him then?
Only God can say, Karen. Or more precisely, only by what God says to you and what He tells you in your mind and heart will you know the answer to that question. Do you feel that your H is somewhere trapped in his body and can be restored? Or has their real soul evaporated, leaving only this sad, angry husk? I ask myself these questions all the time. Time will tell.
But as a means of coping with my sitch' and being able to detach, I am choosing to prepare for the worst. Call it pessimism, if you like. If I am proven wrong in the end, then I will rejoice in knowing the person I swore to love, honor and cherish has not gone into oblivion. But if that is not the case, and I am sadly proven "right" in my precaution, then I hope to insulate my children and myself from the repercussions as much as I can.
