Don't Push!!! A Newbies MUST Read.

[mymonkeybug]

That thought makes sense. For instance my S8 is having a horrible time with daddy walking out and expresses feelings of hatred and not wanting to talk to daddy, etc...When I tell H all this he gets an attitude with me and wants to know why S8 won't tell him this directly. He does this almost in an accusitory fashion as though he feels I am making it up or exagerating to try and guilt him into coming home. I actually am not doing that but I know him well enough after being together 19 years to feel certain that he is thinking that and therefore inevitably putting the pressure on himself but blaming me for it. So it almost seems like no matter what we the LBS's do we are in a no win situation. At least it feels and seems that way sometimes. S told H a week ago that mommy hopes you will come home and H's response to S was, "I am never coming home and mommy just doesn't get it!" How dare he say something that hurtful to his own S?!?!?! But this is also the man that told S 2 weeks ago that he is to not let mommy see him upset or sad about this. To which I told H basically that he will not ever tell S to hide his feelings and that I refuse to let son grow up like he did and think that keeping it all in is OK, expressing your feelings is a good thing because it keeps you from bottling them up and then imploding like WAH did and walking out on family after 19 years due to his inability to communicate. Yep, see that is why I have posted in another section of the forum about how I have fallen off the DB wagon this week. I have been saying and doing all the things you are NOT to be doing in effective DB'ing.