So I was making tremendous progress and then it seems I pressured and scared her off.
She was supposed to have OM out of her house last week but he was "waiting on money and has no where to go". Stupid me, I told her "this is getting old" as at the time I felt that way.
Its been 2 days since we've had any contact and Im starting to go crazy and wondering if she has reconciled with OM because I either scared her off or made her think Im moving on.
I still refuse to contact her as I told her I wouldnt until he was gone. I told her I couldnt pursue while she was living with OM.
Ugh.
Hurtin: 32 WAW: 30 D: 8 Bomb: 10/05 Sep: 12/05 Back together 8/07 Bomb (OM): 11/07 Filed for D (me): 12/07
Oh geesh. I would say "relax" about it, but I know in your shoes I would be very tense. But there really is nothing else you can do but wait. You have drawn a very important line and she knows this. I hope she contacts you soon.
Don't overthink or beat yourself up about the "this is getting old" comment. It IS getting old, she knows this. You just vented some frustrations with her.
My wife is pursuing the heck outta me! What a turnaround!
OM still lives there and is trying to find a place to go. W wants to come spend the night with me this weekend. Wow!
Ive really been struggling with my thoughts of whether or not I want her anymore. Ive started my new job and am doing very well, I sometimes think I can find someone so much better than W.
Its so weird because now that she is pursuing me, I dont think about her that much. So its true! If you pursue your spouse, you make it easy for them. My W has been texting, calling everyday wanting to plan for our future. This is insane!
I hope you are all doing well and you are all in my prayers, keep fighting the good fight!
H4C
Hurtin: 32 WAW: 30 D: 8 Bomb: 10/05 Sep: 12/05 Back together 8/07 Bomb (OM): 11/07 Filed for D (me): 12/07
Ive really been struggling with my thoughts of whether or not I want her anymore
I think this is very common. But, you have the power and control to make decisions. And you are in no need to rush to make them.
I remember in church this summer, the sermon was about appreciation/respect. How when you are given something you don't really want (us begging our spouses), that you don't respect or appreciate when its handed to you. Its only when you truly want something, that you appreciate it when its given to you.
Hurtin, Your W is pursuing you and you're struggling with thoughts of if you really want her.... I agree with LWB, this is probably common, I know I've had those thoughts, too.
My H's A is over, and we're working on our M, but there have been moments when I've had those thoughts, too. Is this what I want? It sure was when I was trying to DB and "get him back" this summer. So now that I have it, why would I have those thoughts????
Perhaps part of it goes back to all the hurt they caused us. We have a lot to forgive, huh? And many who DB reach the point where they realize they'll be ok without their spouses. I seem to remember you about being at that point. So now that she wants you back, you now have to de-program yourself of those thoughts.
I agree with LWB, take your time. And, congrats that the new job is going well!!
