Huh. Maybe I'm missing something, but I see a third option.
You could be open to giving women the zoo tour, and if any of them seemed interested in a season's pass and you dug them too, explain very clearly what you stated above: where you are in your life right now, if she has to go to the ER on band night, she will go by herself. Any woman whose worldview not only accepts but endorses those priorities will not run screaming from the zoo. You can keep things on a seasonal level until your kids are older, then see if you're interested in a lifetime pass....
I realize you'd be running the risk of getting entangled with a woman who says or believes that she'd be okay with your kids coming way first, but then acts inconsistenly with that once into the relationship ....
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
