Looks like I've locked up. Nothing new going on really (hence all of my posting on my own thread). The weekend wasn't bad and Saturday was pretty good. I was invited to go out with H and D's and it was nice.
School starts tomorrow taking some PE classes and then just some basic stuff. it will help me figure out what I want to be...maybe.\
In answer to your question Tipper, yes, my H is still at home. If he's still looking (it wouldn't surprise me) he hasn't mentioned it and he was not secretive about it before.
Hi Grace- That is so encouraging that your H isn't talking about moving. Has your H's behavior changed at all?...less depressed or angry?...or are you trying not to pay any attention to any of that?
When did your H drop the bomb? Just curious where you are at in the this process.
That is great that you got to go out as a family. Did it seem comfortable for all of you?
Keep us posted...maybe you don't see that any new is going on, but your H's not moving could be a turning point. I hope so.
It's really hard to tell with him about anger and depression. I still think he's depressed (probably been for years). He has his moments.
This past week was the one year anniversary of the bomb. I still don't have a clue where I am in all of this. When we all go out as a general rule it is comfortable. It seems to depend mostly on me and how I am. I'm thinking we should have our own "Oscars" b/c there are times when I have no idea how I pull some of this off. I'm lucky I don't have one that constantly spews though.
I think his not moving is just consistant with his avoiding things. That's why I won't give him an easy out.
I think his not moving is just consistant with his avoiding things. That's why I won't give him an easy out.
I admire your stance and I am not quite sure how you handle it. I wonder if my H not talking to me now is just avoidance or confusion. The confusion I can handle...the avoidance really bothers me.
I handle it by leaving it on the back burner and working at figuring out how to get where I want to go. I may have to go there alone, but if he were to die (heaven forbid) that would be the case also. This way I'm doing the best I can for our D's to make sure he is really involved with them. I owe that to all of us.
I think the avoidance is problematic b/c it makes us feel shut out. If you spin it though and look at how insecure and ashamed they feel b/c they aren't who they want to be, it might hwlp with the compassion. How long do you have and how much compassion? That's a question for each of us.
Compassion for me is the key right now. I try to put myself in my H's shoes...how would I feel if OP just pulled the rug out from under me? Probably like I feel about what H did/does....I know that pain...he is in pain too. It must be really awful to have such a low self esteem and feel like the whole world is against you...hate the job, the house, my life? I can't really imagine it....but it's H's reality right now! You are right...how long and how much compassion is the question!
You are amazing!
BA
Me:43 H:48 M:24 yrs T: 26 yrs 2 kids ILYNILWYA 8-07 - MOW 9-07 H moved out 8-2-08 Back 8-18-08 Affair continues Back home but not emotionally
How long do you have and how much compassion? That's a question for each of us.
I have a lot of compassion and I could find so much more if I knew my H was working on things instead of burying his head in the sand. How long?...Good question. I am so afraid of giving up 5 minutes before the miracle but I as you know, I struggle with how long I should give this. It doesn't seem like you are thinking about time...If we could all think like that, it could help a lot of us.
Have fun taking your classes. I am thinking of starting one next month.
I can't thank you enough for all of the encouragement you give to so many of us.
Thanks for the good wishes. If only I could click my heels together and find my way to whatever my gift may be. Oh well, I guess it's good thing I didn't invest in those ruby slippers.
I don't know how I'm not thinking in terms of time. Why? It really sounds kind of stupid, but it's something from one of my dreams (baaa, baaa feeling kind of sheepish here).
Upside, what are you thinking of taking?
Ingrid, I've got to keep my toe in somehow :). Thanks for letting me know my last thread had locked.
Maybe I should take an abnormal psych class! ...I really may take a psych class or maybe Italian so I use when I go there again someday...or maybe I should take a screenwriting class.
...I really may take a psych class or maybe Italian so I use when I go there again someday...or maybe I should take a screenwriting class. 