Good for you BJ. My H did very similar things as your H before he left. The first day of our sepereation I went out with friends because I needed an outlet. I basically ignored him, came home about an hour late and pretty much treated him like he had been treating me and he lost it. He broke down sobbing and crying it was a very surreal scene. He seemed very torn and broken, but he still left. He did try to live the lie of telling our S he was working. He went so far as to stay until 10pm nightly. I put a stop to that becasue I felt like was cake eating. He was enjoying family time without having to be commited. I finally told S because he was avoiding it. I put it in very easy terms a 6 year old could understand. I did not bad talk H, I simply said we were on a time out. I made H start taking S with him to his mom's house with him 3 days a week. Best thing I could have down on the road to getting a life. As I have stated before I think your husband is going through something. I think some of it may have to do with OW, but I think more of it has to do with him. You have been togehter the better part of his adult life. Has he ever lived on his own for an extended period of time? Most of us grew up in our 20's does not sound like he did. You said he had an overbearing mother. So is my MIL. He is trying to spread his wings. I am infusing my own situation into yours, but it is because I see so many similarities. I think the affairs are him trying to assert his independence. I think he is trying to live the life he thinks he has missed. I don't think he is a bad guy and I honestly believe he will come home in the end. Don't hold out too much hope for him not moving out. I still think he will (hopefully I am wrong on this), but I honestly feel that at the end of 6 mths he will want to come back. DB your butt off and enjoy this time to think about and focus on you. It is stressful, but there are some nice parts like being able to have a bowl of cereal for dinner and not having to worry about feeding another grown up. Sometimes I just relish in the fact that I can watch the big TV without having to share and I can watch what I want.
