I handle it by leaving it on the back burner and working at figuring out how to get where I want to go. I may have to go there alone, but if he were to die (heaven forbid) that would be the case also. This way I'm doing the best I can for our D's to make sure he is really involved with them. I owe that to all of us.
I think the avoidance is problematic b/c it makes us feel shut out. If you spin it though and look at how insecure and ashamed they feel b/c they aren't who they want to be, it might hwlp with the compassion. How long do you have and how much compassion? That's a question for each of us.
