... He had brought up going to dinner this week and he asked me again on Saturday if this Wednesday would work. We had gone to dinner a almost 2 weeks ago and had a good time b/c relationship was not brought up....... My thought is to let him know that I think dinner would be fun, but to postpone to next week b/c this week is not ideal... My thought is that maybe he needs to miss me a little...
--- I've heard people mention this strategy fairly often, but I don't subscribe to it. It seems to me a bit shallow and not really addressing the problem at hand. For one thing, MLC men are having a lot of mental turmoil and not really thinking straight or rationally, and this is more the strategy of a straightforward newly courting couple without a history. ---
.... The hard thing is that I also would want to go see him, have another great time and leave it at that. What do you think? ...
--- I think 'yes'. Especially because it is what you really want to do, and to do otherwise will certainly come across as being manipulative, and therefore frightening and a turn-off for H. But if it were me, my strategy would not end at just 'leaving it at that'. My end would be to eventually obtain a regular, reliable schedule of contact with H. Something that is mutually satisfying to both of you, something that would allow you to hang in there comfortably with him for the long haul. Enthusiastically agreeing to this dinner date proposed by H would be one of my first moves in that direction. ---
.... Should I push it off to next week saying that I am tired I just had a long weekend w/ a friend from out of town)and make him wait? ...
--- No. Think of H as a skittish horse who jumped the pasture fence a while back, who is now having a few fond thoughts of former comfort & relationship mixed in with exciting but nebulous thoughts of freedom, and you're out there with him near a dangerous expressway trying to get close enough to get a halter on him. I think it is foolish, if you value this horse, to decline any movements of his towards you. ---
