LRT UNDER SAME ROOF III

[craig54]

transformer,

thanks for checking in. reading mars book right now. just need to keep focus off of what my wife is doing. i hear you on the attraction. i let that remark get to me every time she throws it out there. i think half the time she is just seeking a response from me. she sure did when she announced that she was going to file. it took her by surprise that i did not react. keep my eyes on the Lord.stop feeling sorry for myself.

[craig54]

phil, printed out that suggested book, author is way out there . married 4 times!!! spent 1-1/2 hrs reading through the book. i can see some things to try. but as every one is commenting on . the attraction problem is not true. it is about sex, but still dont know exactly what the probem is. really makes no different if she won't ask for help. it is Jesus's hands.

[COG]

Craig,

I feel your pain. Contrary to most responses you've had here, and contrary to what you've said you believe, I believe your W is telling you the truth. She is NOT sexually attracted to you, the chemicals are just not there. That's reality, that's the truth, so where to go from here?

The first thing you can do, after you accept this reality, is to let her know you understand and believe her. The longer you stay in disbelief, denial, the longer she will be on the defensive. When you acknowledge her feelings, validate her, she won't have to continue trying to convince you.

The second thing to do is to move on with YOUR life. Your M is dead, it'll NEVER come back. It's not your heart that's died, nor your liver, or brain, it's your dream. The vision you had of what your life was going to be like. Start today and develop a new vision, or better yet, for now just live in the moment, stay in reality. Move on with YOUR life, let go your expectations, get YOURSELF in order, pray like crazy, and watch the miracles unfold in such a way as you could never have expected.

Do not idolize your W or your M. They are things of this world, and will fade away. Focus on spending eternity in heaven. Know that there are people in this world fighting for their last breath as we speak, or others in prison, mental institutions, starving in the desert. Living in this world involves a large amount of suffering, like fire purifies the gold, we too shall suffer.

May Jesus carry your burden, and relieve your pain.

God Bless,

COG

[craig54]

cog, i knew you were out there. you are right , i have not been able to admit she was right about the attraction. part of me just cannot believe it. which of course does not matter. my dream has died. you are so right. Thank you cog, i must have a new vision. my marriage as i know it is dead. there can be a new relationship , much better than the old.

[craig54]

cog, i can always count on you for the direct approach. thank you. you don't beat around the bush. in the greater scheme of things you are right, my marriage is pretty small when you compare it to the heartache we see around the world. it is all context.

[COG]

Craig,

Thank you cog, i must have a new vision. my marriage as i know it is dead. there can be a new relationship , much better than the old.

Aha! grasshopper, now you're starting to understand. The past is behind you, may it rest in peace. Only God knows what the future may hold for you, so let Him be in control. The present! The present is where you are, what you are, and how you are. Stay in the present for now. When you start to feel the worry, fear, pain, gag reflex, etc. just stop thinking about the past and future, and consume yourself with the present.

God has a purpose and a plan for YOUR life. Everything happens for a reason. Stay the course, be courageous, curteous, friendly, supporting, strong, and faithful. Recognize that fear and selfishness are evil tools aimed to cripple you. It's spiritual warfare that goes far beyond our M's.

God bless you, heal you, and lift you up.

Love,

COG

[craig54]

cog, youre right about the spiritual warfare, the enemy is trying to get me to take my eyes off the Lord, and back on my wife and problems.trying to keep me down. when i look at everything outside of marriage problem it is pretty darn good.

[craig54]

COG, i know you are out there. i need your spiritual insight. woke up this morning and had a instant thought about Gods reality of reaping what you sow. i do not want my wife to have years of regret due to the breakup of our marriage. my first wife to this day, over 23 years, regrets not working out the marriage problems and stayin together. she sees what it did to our children.i has ruined her life. i would not wish that guilt on anyone. especially on my wife, i love her so
much , i do not want her to realize the same thing my first wife did. i would like to be able to point it out to her, without trying to make her feel guilty. i know this is her journey, and she must go through it. i will survive. i have gone through this before, it is painful and heart wrenching, but i will get through it. i worry about my wife. part of me wants to try and protect her. part of me wants her find out on her own, with no imput from me. i admit i am worried about her. i know the Lord is control. i just hate to see anyone go through this pain and possible regret.

[craig54]

bmp

[craig54]

BMP