Wow, I feel the same way. I still look back in amazement at the person I had become prior to the A. I wasn't happy, couldn't figure out why, and sure couldn't answer the question "Why?" as to why I was doing things I was doing. I am still sorting through all of that. And yes, my friend, good riddance to that lwb. That lwb wasn't happy, didn't have her priorities straight, and sure didn't know why. I see myself clearly now and want the person I am working to become.
I have those same feelings too. I've noticed a lot of postings like that too. And it seems like a lot of our spouses kind of go through the opposite almost, as we are working on improving ourselves they are almost going through a downward spiral, mean, hateful, etc. If the affair ends and a couple reconciles, would my spouse ever return to something more like he was the first 20 years of our marriage, i.e. a nice guy, or would he be more like he is now during his affair I wonder? I mean if the person he was for 40 years is dead and buried as you say NoCode, should I be working on trying to reconcile with him then? Karen43
