You helped me a long time ago when I was in a place you are now. Yours isn't bad as yet but still the verbal tongue lashing when feeling stronger with a drink is happening.
No one can tell you when or what to do cause you know in your heart when you had enough. But remember your daughter is watching and they learn how relationships are by example and they learn to pick out the same man to treat them the same way. Before 6 is formative years, and let me say that is true.
I wanted to say how much I appreciated your advice before. You were in a different place with your husband promising not to drink. His excuse now seems to be with the ow allowing this behavior and as mine always said "accept me the way I am" but you have to think if this way is the only way. An alcoholic will always think of a way to justify their drinking. When it involves others its not good.
imagine if they did get together and the ow's husband didn't want their children around a alcoholic man? That in itself will cause strife in their relationship. What about if his drinking would involve driving while drinking with your daughter? Many things that passed through my mind. I am still fixed on not letting him drive our son cause he still drinks. And no I am not with him.
Remember accepting his behavior to him makes you look weak. Mine never considered me strong till he left and I didn't beg him back. It wasn't till he realized I didn't break without him that he found out what he lost. He has cried many times but hasn't changed his drinking habits. He has many other issues then just the drinking. Its in his psycho. A drunk will blame all others before himself. They will focus only on themselves.
I have a ringtone on my phone when he calls to remind me. Not sure if its good or not but it goes like this..."Hey man, if your phone wasn't ringing I wouldn't be so drunk....blahhhhhhhh" It reminds me how it was never about me but him and how he would blame everything or anything including me why he is the way he is.
