I also purchased MWD's new book and both seem to agree that the tie to masculinity, sex, shame etc... is so complex that it isn't an easy thing to just confront. Getting in a man's face is a sure way to induce his anger and cause passive aggressive type behaviors. In fact in a great number of case in the survey book people ended up just living asexually or getting divorced. There were other cases where people were successful. NO ONE was successful by just throwing in some spicy ideas. Everyone had to talk about sex no matter how uncomfortable.
Karen You are spending a lot of time researching books and analyzing Why your H is the way he is, but I think MJ is right, does any of that matter and it that your job to do? I don't think so. Your H has to be the one to "go there." The last sentence you wrote above sums it up. TALK to him. Don't stay in your own head driving yourself nutty.
