Choc eyes, those are great examples but in my case it's rougher b/c I have a harder time as my H is in a different position than your W: For example:
-he pays for his own cellphone and has his own Blackberry -his family is very supportive of the situation including his parents, they have all had multiple divorces and affairs now (not the situation when we got married 2 decades ago or I would have seen the red flag!) -his employer is his best friend. They are both runners in the same track club as the OW, so if I got involved there, would probably just hasten my divorce which I am trying to prevent. -the kids are disappointed in their dad same as yours. -my H is paying for his own bills same as yours (although I am seeing a lawyer next week cause I am concerned he may be paying too much money on hotel bills because they are both living with spouses so I am looking into that.) -my H already is trying to cut off our relationship, trying to avoid me, kind of like what you did with your wife.
I think he has suffered in the list of things I already posted yesterday. When he went out Sat. night, he spent the night with a woman who neglects her kids (spends 40 hours a week on the affair with my H) instead of with her children and has terrible morals; she is a married woman with kids having an affair with a married man with kids. Instead he could have spent the night with his family who loves him: his kids and his wife who has devoted her life to him and her kids and he chose not to; we watched a movie and had hot chocolate and had a great time without him. I think he lost out myself.
Plus, he is spending 30 hours a week with her (plus texting and calling her) in addition to his 45 hour a week job, so I could be wrong, but I think the courts are not likely to give him much custody at all if we do divorce, and he loves, or used to love dearly our kids anyway, and at some point in the future I can't believe he won't regret losing custody of the children so I think that tops most of your list in the way of consequences for my H. He is a lawyer so I would think he would realize that too...Karen43
