So today is moving day. Not really moving, but move-in day. There is no moving truck. But the furniture store is delivering his stuff to his apt. at noon today. We are supposed to get drizzle and I actually kind of hope we do, immature I know but oh well. So anyway, H got back yesterday afternoon from Denver. Had a pretty nice afternoon and evening playing w/kids. But at one point, can't remember how it happened, he said to me "I don't want to move out". Then the kids said something and we had to move on, won't talk about it in front of them. I know it was BAD DB-ing but once they were in bed I asked him about his comment. He repeated that he didn't want to move out, he was dreading it. With no pleading (I PROMISE!) I said that all I have wanted for him is for him to do what HE wants to do. So I said if you don't want to move out, call the furniture store in the morning, tell them not to deliver the stuff. Call the apt. and see what kind of deal you can reach re. the lease, maybe pay half the time frame (6 months total) or something. I said if you do not want to move it will be easier to stop it before you start the process. Then I asked if he still wanted to work on the M. He said yes of course. I said well we could work on it from the same home if you choose. Separate bedrooms or whatever would still be fine, but we could work on it from the house if he didn't want to move. He didn't respond and I realized he had fallen asleep (he was on couch, I was in a chair). I called his name, he muttered and then said "I am moving out bc I told you I think it is what I need to do." I said, "I understand it is what you said you needed to do but if you don't want to do it---" "Then don't, right?" he interrupted, bc that is what I have said before. I said, "No, I am not going to tell you not to move out. I am saying do what you want to do. If you have decided you don't want to move out, I am just saying don't do it bc you already had it planned out in your mind. Do it bc you want to, or don't if you don't want to." Then I went to bed. The question I have is about the kids. Now that H is leaving, I intend to go with the Last-Last Resort of not talking to him period unless it is about the kids. H, as expected, did nothing re. the visitation schedule. So I made one up for the rest of Jan. and Feb., giving him two nights a week and alternate weekends. There were two weekends in a row where I already know he has plans (a work meeting one Sat. morning, a Kid Rock (yes, really!) concert the following Sat.), but I assigned him one anyway and he will have to learn how fun it is to line up a sitter. So anyway I left the calendars on the table for him, and told him before I went to bed that I had made the schedule and it was on the table. He said ok. This morning, he left, and the schedule is still on the table. He hasn't packed or taken a thing with him, even his shaving kit is open and scattered around the bathroom sink. Since I know he'll have to come get stuff since he is staying at the apt. tonight, I asked my mom to take the kids after school/daycare tonight, and I plan to go out all evening so I am not here when he gets here. But RE. the kids, do I push the schedule thing? Or just assume he will follow it??? And he said he wants to tell the kids Wed. (he will be moving stuff tonight and bowls on Tuesdays), but we have never discussed exactly how/what we are telling the kids or practiced it. So I want to do the NO CONTACT thing, but what do I do to resolve the "telling the kids" and "visitation schedule" issues?? On an unrelated note he came in the bedroom crying this morning and stroked my hair, told me goodbye. Was really broken up.So maybe the alien is only taking over his body 90% of the time? I was super brave, didn't cry, just looked him in the eye and said, "Goodbye, I will see you some day" bc I don't know when exactly I will see him. I didn't follow him or call him or anything, just went back to sleep.
