It sounds like you are doing well. Don't, however, bring up stories of people who sought counseling prior to a divorce. Your husband will only lash out at you.
I think Chocolateeyes has some very solid points. However, he was the primary income earner in his home and was able to leverage that to make his wife feel the conequences of his affair. He also took a hard-line approach: expose the affair to make it uncomfortable for his wife.
Work on you. Increase your sense of personal power and attractiveness. You have 9 mos.
