I'm not gloating or ignoring my shortcomings. I've admitted all my mistakes, take all my responsibilities.
I'm crying inside because I know that somewhere inside her, just like me, there is good person who copes with bad times poorly. Everyone will tell you what a great mom / friend / whatever she is. And their right. She's just a sh*tty WIFE and PARTNER and is willing to run from that so she can feel better.
I guess the difference is that with a little help I get up again and fight another day. And with no help I survive and keep going until I CAN get up again. I don't run away. I just don't.
I'm going to bed now. I think I'm going to be crying a lot tonight. I hope I don't wake her up, she needs her sleep.
I really wonder if she knows what I need? I feel so sorry for her.
Other than dig myself out of the financial and emotional mess I'm in, I really don't know what I want to do with HER. I guess I'll just follow the '24 hour rule' and do nothing.
Maybe I'll E-Mail her the last post so she can see how bad she looks. Nah, that would be spiteful.
