I suppose this is where friendship rubber meets the road. For both of you. Do not be so nonchalant. You care and you do not, but caring makes you vulnerable to getting sucked back in. Wolves cut it off. They know when to break ties and move on. You are not a wolf. Tho you are glad to be away.
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So now maybe... you might understand all this bouncing around I'm doing.
Sorry, corri, but this is what I mean by cryptic.
What do you mean by "friendship rubber meets the road"? Do you mean that it is challenging to remain friends with someone after you've been or tried to be lovers? If so, I agree with this, and in fact, this is the first time I've ever continued a friend R with someone with whom I've been in a Relationship. But what do you mean "where the rubber meets the road"? I don't get where you're going with that. Do you mean our friendship will be tested?
What do you mean by "don't be so nonchalant"? (which means "indifferent or unconcerned") Do I seem unconcerned about whether or not he will want to get back together as bf/gf? As if I don't care one way or the other? Frankly, I do NOT see that happening. The sex thing alone is a major obstacle. It would be a complete break from who he is to approach me and ask for such a thing. I can't think of one time when he spontaneously extended himself to me (pun intended). So do you mean something different from that?
You say "you care and you don't." I absolutely care about him. I have great compassion for him and I admire the fact that he is still alive and mostly sane given all of the life challenges he has endured and overcome. But I DO NOT care for him as a lover. I'm sure of that. I can finally admit it to myself. Do you think I can get sucked back in to a romantic R, or are you thinking of something else?
Re wolves (and frankly, I'm not into all of the animals): In the past I've always broken off the R and had NO interest in seeing the other person ever again. This goes for girlfriends I've broken up with, too. He's different because we share these dogs, because he LIVES NEXT DOOR, and because I want to stay in his daughters' lives. And because we have many interests in common as long as we stay away from love and sex. So I guess I generally am a wolf, but this time I'm a puppy? My quality of life would not improve if I broke off all contact with him. But my quality of life has improved tremendously since I have broken off romantic contact.
As far as you being all over the place, it's just that the way you write is like a connect the dots game without the dots connected. I like to have the dots connected for me because there are many ways to misunderstand someone and only a couple of ways to get it right. I really want to understand what someone is telling me about themselves or about me. So if you don't want to connect the dots, at least put the dots closer together, so I can't connect the wrong dots to each other.
That cryptic enough for you?
P.S. And, no, my sitch doesn't give me ONE CLUE about why you're bouncing all over the place, but if you see a connection, I'd love to know what it is. It sounds very interesting, but I cannot make the leap from dot to dot without you filling in the blanks for me.
