Letting go is certainly something to shoot for, OT. I believe I am progressing in that regard. I do still recognize and sometimes do have feelings about being furniture but I certainly don't sit around sulking and pouting over it, it's not gonna rule my life! Does she sense neediness from me? Possibly, but I'm pretty up when I'm around her and don't plead, sulk or whatever else might give that impression. This morning I arrived at the house all chipper, greeting everyone happily and singing to myself. I was excited about seeing my D's gymnastics meet, W was her usual irritable self, that's her trip! My life is getting better and when I'm down these days I turn to filling my head with more positive things, looking at the many blessings I still have in my life, allowing for whatever God has planned for me. Sometimes it sure is a struggle but I'm doing my best And btw, in regards to these family trips/times, over Christmas I turned down a couple of her invitations citing having "made other plans" which was true. But, that said, if her demeanor continues to be cold and isolating then I may just decide in the future to decline spending any more time with her than is absolutely necessary. If it ain't good for me, I won't do it. I want to give it time though, see how things settle. I know this is a huge struggle for all of us and she has to come to terms with it in her own way, I can give that some time. But, yes, minimizing personal internal reaction to her basic discourtesy is certainly worth working harder at. She can't get to me if I don't allow it! Thanks for dropping by.
