The thing that's shocked me the most is how long it's taken me to recover from this fiasco. I think it's taken me 46 months to get to the stage of being able to say that I feel ok about all of this. But now I feel that I can begin rebuilding my life.
My children have coped amazingly well. My middle one is just going to have some councelling. He's struggling with some everyday stuff in his life. His GP feels that what went on during his teens at home may have contributed to this. Some support for boundary setting will be useful for him. My other two seem to be doing just fine. I can't say that they're not damaged by what happened but they're doing just fine.
The bottom line though is I feel that divorce isn't the answer people should work to save their marriage. But when one person wants out and doesn't want to play and becomes abusive and violent divorce is the only answer sadly.
