"Thank you for telling me; I appreciate your honesty. (LOOK HIM STRAIGHT IN THE EYES) No matter how you feel about me right now, we are still married, and I expect you to respect that. If that's indeed where you're going tonite, I and the kids will not be here when you get home, and all of your things will be on the front lawn and you'll find that your key no longer works. If you think I'm kidding, you really underestimate me."
And then walk away, and be cheerful in any further encounters with him before he leaves.
Of course, if you say that, you have to be prepared to DO that.
This is just my opinion, but you are being FAR too nice to the jerk. No, you don't need to lower yourself to his level, but you don't need to be a pleasant doormat, either.
Let me ask you this, Karen: can you tick off even a very short list for me of what have been the negative repercussions of your husband breaking his marriage vows, and of you knowing about his infidelity?
