Ongoing affair, D papers filed, advice wanted

[SirPrizeMe]

Yep, you all have your heads on straight. I thank you for the guidance.

I haven't said that to her - "I want you to be happy. I care about you and I will be happy if you are happy. I wish you the best in whatever you decide." I don't think I've said anything like that to her, since this all began.

The closest I got was saying, "I don't think marriage is a life sentence. I don't want a death-grip marriage."

I've said "I want you to be happy" but it was always paired with, "tell me how I can help you be happy." It was always as a part of "let's be happy together."

Maybe I will write her a letter to that effect. As part of my drop the rope thing.

And I'm not just giving this lip service, honestly. Relations between us are not very good at the moment. At this point if I can get agreement with her on splitting time with my kids, and finances, I'll be happy.