Suspecting and knowing about an affair are two different things. Even if you have good evidence and feel it strongly, once you have it confirmed it's like a ton of bricks have fallen.
Unfortunately working through the pain and trust issues takes A LOT of time. My advice to you is never make decisions from a place of anger or pain. Focus on yourself, working through the pain and just trying to develop a friendship with your husband. Two good books to read are "Not 'Just Friends'" and "After the Affair." These will help you understand what went on and some of the crazy emotions you will probably go through.
P.s. Of course you don't "love him" right now. You probably want to rip his head off. But this doesn't mean you won't feel love for him again eventually in the future. Time can change things dramatically and kids are a very powerful reason to give this that time. Hang in there. Most of us have been where you are.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
