You have to be very experimental I think with relationships. You're in a good position right now Mojo to try out what it's like to relate to different types of men. It would almost be worthwhile to deliberately date men you are not attracted to (physically is OK, but not emotionally attracted to) in order to explore what it's like to hang out with someone that different from your usual type. It seems to me from what you have said about the guys you've been dating that you are enjoying flirting with danger. You are getting a buzz out of hanging with slightly dangerous seeming men. Safety is a turn off. Love is not safe. That is something pretty much all of us here learned in early childhood. It was not safe to love. Therefore when we are with someone safe it doesn't feel like love.
Actually, I've been consciously trying to mediate/mitigate my tendencies towards being attracted to "bad boys". I am trying to date men who signal a balance of St.Bernard/Wolf or safety/danger. For one instance, I think it's good for me to focus on my object orientation attraction to male musculature because I'm better off in a relationship who has a pleasant personality but a wolf-like body than the reverse. Another example would be that I look for men whose wolf-vibe was culturally acquired. A guy can be safe but seem wolf if he is street-smart or grew up in a pro-sexual environment. My BIL is like that. Some friends of mine, a couple who are both psychologist/social workers, kind of tried to set me up with a friend of theirs. The guy had no edge whatsoever but if he hadn't been too skinny too I might have taken the chance that he had some hidden wolf that would come out in private interaction with my monkey.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
