I like the line about galavanting with ailiens somewhere. I thought alot about your post as I was having a really hard day myself yesterday and today my son goes with his dad. It is just amazing to me how they can move about like their lives are fine and dandy, but we are left to keep ourselves together and our kids together. You have been seperated about a month longer than me and though it has been several months now the pain is still pretty raw. You have your kids that you have to be strong for and I have to keep my head right for school, yet I can't help feeling like I am caught in quicksand. I fight to make it through daily. I have gotten a life, and I have gotten good at not chasing H, but I am so damn sick and tired trying hard to not have expectations. Shouldn't you have expectations of anyone in your life? I mean hell I have expectations of my dog and cat. I expect my dog not to go in the house and I expect my cat to poop in the box. Even they can meet the most basic of expectations. What I don't expect or feel like I deserve is for someone to toss me away like yesterday's garbage. I don't expected to be treated like I don't matter. I totally amen your point above. At some point during my marriage I would have liked to have been told that things were so bad that pretty soon there would be no hope. At least I could have decided if I wanted to jump ship or hang in there. I am so freaking tired of hurting and crying. I exhausted of being the only one to put in effort. I look at brother and bil and they are both model husbands who get marriage and want to put in the work. I know you are not supposed to ask "why me", but "why me"? I know into each life some rain must fall, but damn.
Anyway, I just needed to rant. Personally, I know the ailiens have taken my H's mind and heart, couldn't they just do me a favor and take his body too? If I did not have to see him daily I think I could handle this better.
