When we meet someone safe we don't feel love. When we meet someone we feel anxious won't stay with us then we interpret that as love. Once we have hooked up with that person we retreat into self-soothing habits such as mb, alcoholism, shopaholism, controlling behaviour, avoidant behaviour (not wanting to want) in order to maintain the distance which maintains the anxiety.
This is so true.
Holy cr@p, Fran, you are really on a roll!!!
On another BB, there was a lady who had dated an on-and-off heroin addict/musician for years and finally broke up with him. She met another guy who was very nice, and it took her a long time to learn to be comfortable in a stable, regular, crisis-free life. Now she absolutely adores this man. He adored her from the very beginning. (On their second date, he brought flowers for her beloved dachshund, and that really got her attention!)
