Don't Push!!! A Newbies MUST Read.

[sleeper]

Hi, lovemyguy,

If you are both wearing rings, H is still living at home and you are going to MC you have a lot going for you. No guarantees, but a lot of positives. I wouldn't even consider taking my ring off if I were you until he does. Even then you are going to have to think about what you are doing. To do so before may look like you are giving him permission/giving up.

For some in mlc our breathing is interpreted by them as pressure. I haven't done anything overt that might be interpreted as pressure since Oct (I jokingly asked for a kiss, wish I hadn't). Just before Christmas W angrily commented, "just because you've changed doesn't mean you can just come back to the marriage." The mere existance of my improved self (not drinking, lost weight, buffed up, "phenomenal father", Mr. fix it on the spot) is now seen by mlc W as pressure. Good news; she's noticed. Bad news; it pressure. What's a divorce buster to do?

Jack is right on about changes. Three months into this W commented she was waiting for the "old" me to return, didn't believe changes. They must be maintained for a long time to be believed. Now she obvioulsy sees changes are real, but responds to them as pressure to return to the marriage.

You have to feel your way through this.

Like a blind man in a razor blade factory.