A healthy person has to learn to be "selfish". We have to learn to be honestly selfish, that is, we have to honestly face our needs and our feelings and face what we really want from others in our relationships. The more we face our simple wants the more we can be straightforward in our expression to the people closest to us and to ourselves. We have to give up parental, rejecting, critical, evaulative attitudes toward our simple wishes and feelings. We have to feel what we want and stop accusing ourselves of being babyish when we want things.
IOW- Be strong monkey and bunny and get all the "affectionate man-handling" you want in a straight-forward strong/vulnerable manner. I couldn't agree more. I recently read an article that indicated that people who tend towards depression tend to be more judging of self and others in that manner. Therefore, they may seek out a partner who is more childlike/manic and end up in a dysfunctional cycle of attract/attack. Which is why I am currently avoiding men who vibe like 2bx/House like the plague.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
