Mickey and Hope - After 'Replay' and the other stuff, so many of them are not done. They lack the skills and confidence and will to sort themselves out, IMO. And we can't help them with this . . . . .
Why do they want the contact? Well at the 'front' of their minds they don't know. At the back of their minds frankly,I suspect they wish it had all never happened. They can't go back, and they can't put it right. I suspect Micky, that is why they sometimes marry the OP. They either still think they are in love [but I think that is the minority, from what I read here] or they don't see how to put things right in the previous life. So often they are not people making choices, they are people driven by their demons, their emotions.
Where the OP is not in the picture, all is still not well. These long MLC are VERY difficult to heal from - for us and for them. The journey away from us has been great, the distance well nigh unbridgeable, and their capacity and will to make any 'restoration' not present. Perhaps shattered, perhaps lacking.
I sometimes wonder if the severe MLC cases haven't got piece of humanity missing!
It is all a tremendous mess. On one level they have no right to be contacting their former spouses, but we are not talking about 'rights'.
I often wonder what I would do if my h ever emerges from the tunnel. As Hope said - what we long for in the earlier stages of all this is no longer something we recognise as being either achievable or our goal. It is actually a tragedy. The destruction of happiness is the most pointless destruction of all. And the hardest to put right.
We talk about moving forward and growing, and we do, but a part of us is damaged by the pain, loss and betrayal. I am not saying there are no gains, but there are tremendous losses for them and for us.
